I like it here at all any more. This ugly blog, which I totally arbitrary times what reinkotze and usually just as often re-delete.
Apparently this is currently my motto: I do not like this anymore, but I go ahead anyway.
How stupid.
I wonder why I got to be every decision. It was seldom a real Entscheindung "Yes, I WILL!" - But more of a lagged ".. yes, fair enough .. I will have no choice anyway, and anyway it is me not care." I think
often of the many happy faces who stumble through life just like that. So carelessly. The small scratches, they seem not even feel it. For me, every trip ends in an almost-broken neck, or at least I'm talking about me every once and with the fullest conviction.
I have no idea what I want, what I do, why I'm here and why now in general plays a role. It is this futility that makes me every time I look back again and raises the question: What if?
What's in store for me in the dircention i did not take?
I'm tired of always tilt in the pines. I want to do something different. This makes
-so-many-mistakes-as-you-can-only-Bla-Bla does not, that it has with me before. Maybe I can be one or the other gain in 40 years, something good, but what brings me now? To what extent should I continue to get this, me to work every day for the little money the ass? I am here "whorish" to customers and laughed at stupid. I will have to
me not every weekend to give the edge or run into the nearest shoe store to compensate for my failed "non-private-life", but always comes back to me suspiciously close.
Such negative examples here to run around enough.
But what then?
Too bad really that it's not enough of a chain smoker for Non smoking To switch changed to change his life dramatically. Actually it is for if anything, except that I perceive the smell of other now more aware than I like.
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